Philip Deed

I wasn’t diagnosed as autistic until 2015. I spent more than half a century either “masking” (pretending to be like everyone else) or in hiding. School and work bullies figured it out long before the doctors did. Maybe that’s why you see my work as “inward looking”. The outside world is hard work for me a lot of the time.

The true reason why I didn’t want my art to be in student exhibitions was that I didn’t want a lot of fuss. I didn’t want to draw attention to myself. These days I am slightly thicker skinned and very keen for my art to be seen by a wider audience than just myself.

“I’m Nearly Healthy” is a line from Your Heart Out a song by my favourite group The Fall. Listening to this track on YouTube may seriously impair your enjoyment of the art. Don’t do it. Some of my artworks which the Bethlem Gallery has in storage are named after Fall songs. I often listen to their music (at very low volume to avoid enraging people in neighbouring rooms) whilst making the collages.

Just take for instance
A time of great depression
Fade out of reason
Bad time’s in season

Don’t shut your heart out
Don’t cry your eyes out

Don’t cry for me, Mexico
Or Savage Pencil
I’m nearly healthy

And they try to take my eyes out
Friends try to work my soul out
But I don’t sing, I just shout
Heavy clout, heart out